The progesterone shot that I gave myself in the leg last night puffed up and I thought it was getting infected. It was a new bottle and the shot before in my leg with the almost used up progesterone did not cause this reaction (the one when I hit my bone). So maybe I was allergic to something in this new bottle, but why would the two bottles be very different? I also dropped this one on the floor before I used it. I was amazed the glass didn’t break. But there were all these microbubbles that I couldn’t get out. I injected anyway- and I was timid putting the needle in because of the bone issue last time. So maybe I didn’t go deep enough? I talked to my aunt who is a nurse and she said it's probably not a big deal. Watch it and follow up with doc if it gets worse.
6dp5dt HPT is still stark white, not even a hint of a squinter. Worried because my guts feel like they do right before my period. In that past when I have been on progesterone I’m super stopped up… so is this a good sign?? Been having cramping and some sharp pains in the lower abdominal area today. But is it just angry intestines?
I slept pretty well except for a few bad dreams of being in situations where I couldn't avoid stepping through fire ant nests or being bitten by snakes.
- Hiking with some people, I’m the last to pass this obstacle and I see that it’s covered with snakes. In trying to get over it, I get bit by three venomous snakes and they wouldn't let go. As I try to walk for help, I am also trying to remove the snakes from my body by pinching their heads- but they only quickly let go and bite me somewhere else.
- At a family reunion outing, I inadvertently walk somewhere that have to walk through fire ant nests. But the whole time no one else is getting bitten, nor bothered by the ants at all. No one even realized they are there.
So I finally picked up GOLD STANDARD FRER HPTs from Target. Thinking the whole time “What fertile would EVER buy TWO $13.99 2-packs of pregnancy tests??”. They were on sale from Target with a 5$ gift card with purchase, so thank you Target <3 the infertiles.
Back at work today...
It was my first day back at work and two people that I work closely with know that I just had a transfer. It’s weird for me because I have completely different feelings about each of them wanting to know the results. One of them- I just don’t mind talking to at all- but the other one- I just don’t know- I don’t want to HAVE TO disclose anything right now even though I know they are very interested. So I was dreading for this one person to ask me about it. Even if I knew, I don't want them to be among the first people to know. I don't want to tell anybody until we’re three months pregnant. But because I told them about the transfer, I feel like I'm trapped into disclosing the results, whatever they may be. It's like you want to tell people sometimes- when you’re hopeful and going through treatment but you wish that they would let you come to them when you wanted to talk. IF SOMEBODY ASKED ME what I WANTED – I’d suggest that they just say something like “hey I'm thinking about you and hoping everything is OK”… and I could just say “thank you” and walk away. I guess it would be a totally different story if I had actually got a positive test by now. But I guess since I'm expecting to have to tell this person that it didn't work- I'm dreading having say it.
UGHHHH and today I wore a shirt that I really shouldn't have. All day I felt like everybody was looking at me like oh she's probably pregnant but I'm thinking no I just haven't exercised in a week and I’ve been stress eating. Stop thinking about my reproductive status, BIOTCHES.
I'm also beginning to feel really conflicted about writing my blog about my results. So I'll probably just stop writing for a little while after this post. If in the awesome event that I get the BFP, I do want to be careful with it. I want my husband and me to be able to enjoy it and I want to share our joy with our family. I would not like people at work to know until I am in a safe time. I don't want to jinx it in any way. Anyway… Hopefully you'll be hearing from me in a while and that I have good news.